Cinnamon Zone: Women

Violence Next Door

Sat, 30 May 2009 20:26:00 GMT

Few years back, I was walking in the neighborhood with a friend when we heard the screams coming from one of the houses in the street. They were the sounds of a man and a woman who seemed to be having a big fight. He was cussing her and her mother out and then it sounded like he started beating her. You might think those things only happen in movies, but what we heard was so loud and so intense like those things you see in Arabic movies, or worse, in Kuwaiti Drama.

Few years have passed since then and although I passed by that house many times I didn’t hear similar noises again. I always wondered about the family though, but didn’t give it much thought, not until 2 days ago when I heard 2 neighbors talking about a woman in the street, who turned out to be the same woman I heard fighting with her husband years ago. It wasn’t over yet.

They said that the people who live next door to them hear them fighting all the time. They said that they heard their children crying while their parents fought and called each other names. They even said that from the sound of it the man seemed to be giving his wife a beating. They said they fought day and night and the neighbors could hear it all.

That night I stayed up at night thinking how this marriage could have survived all these years of possible physical, verbal and emotional abuse. What could’ve become of the children? Why are these people still together if they fight so much? Then I remembered the national campaign about domestic violence and how everyone is responsible, especially when it came to the children, and that’s when I started to seriously consider reporting them to Family Protection.

To tell you the truth, I still have my doubts about this. I mean, this woman must have endured all those years with her husband for a reason, so what if she refused to cooperate with the police or denied any abuse? But then I thought about the children. I mean she’s an adult and she’s free to do what she wants but it’s not up to her to expose her children to all that violence and abuse. But again, I thought that although this doesn’t seem like the happiest family on earth, but what if this intervention made it worse? What if the children were caught up in an ugly divorce and instead of watching their parents slamming each other at home they could be dragged to see it in court.

I’m really not sure what to do, but to think of what this could turn into I feel responsible to take and action to nip whatever might happen in the bud.

So, what would you do?

Ring the Bell Campaign: Against Domestic Violence

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:10:00 GMT

Given the apparent increase in the quantity and quality of tragedies caused by domestic violence in Jordan, one must have wondered what to do to take a part in stopping this epedimic. One could write, could protest, could spread awareness, but what if you witnessed one of those domestic violence cases first hand?

A while ago I came across this great campaign that's called Ring the Bell

Basically, the campaign's aim is stop domestic violence on the spot. "The next time you hear your neighbour beating his wife, ring the doorbell and ask for a cup of milk."

I believe this is a great way to help save many women and children who suffer from the plight of domestic violence, and it could be a good way to encourage people towards assuming more social responsibility and to encourage them to take more action.

Today you ring the bell, the next day you're calling the police, and before you know it you may just have saved an innocent life from going to waste.

To learn more about Ring the Bell Campaign you can check out the campaign videos on Youtube

بنت عيشة... بس سمرا

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 13:14:00 GMT

في أشياء لسا مش قادرة أستوعبها فس مجتمعنا، يمكن أنا استيعابي بطيء أو يمكن هاي الأشياء مش مفروض حدا يستوعبها أساساً

يعني لما وحدة تكون متزوجة واحد بعاملها، عفواً، أحسن من الزبالة بشوي، وبعمل فيها كل عملة ولا التانية، ومين ما بسمع عمايله، عفواً، بتف عليه، وبعدين بس يقولوا إنه البنت كانت ساكته عليه وما تحكي لحدا بقولوا...

"شكلها بنت عيشة وبدها السترة"

ليش هي كاينة مفضوحة عند بيت أهلها؟ وبعدين إذا هو مش "ابن عيشة" وإذا العيشة اللي عايشتها مش عيشة ليش بدها تكون بنت عيشة؟؟

طيب سيبونا من اولاد العيشة، أنا مش فاهمة شو عقدة البياض والشقار عنا إحنا العرب اللي مش قادرين نقضي عليها! كإنه الشقار رمز الحسن والجمال والسمار رمز البشاعة والقباحة... الله يقطع (فير أند لافلي) بس!! قال بيجيبوا البنت بتكن لابسة اواعي بتخزي ومبينة رح تعيط من الخوف وبعدين بس تستعمل فير آند لافلي فجأة بتصير عندها ثقة بحالها وأواعيها مرتبة! وقال شو قال بتنقبل في الوظيفة عشان بشرتها (مش عشان تغيرت 180 درجة) مزع...

بلاش دعايات فير أند لافلي؟ كم مرة سمعتوا جملة زي هاي:

"البنت بتجنن، بس إمها إنسي الموضوع سمرا وحالتها حاله!"

حالتها حاله؟ إيش يعني عندها شلل أطفال؟

هديك اليوم سمعت وحدة بتقارن بين وحدة وزوجها وبتقول إنه زوجها أحلى منها بكتير أما هي فـ"سمرة"، يعني كإنه ما في داعي توصف أكتر من هيك إنه خلص سمرا يعني أشكيف، بتتذكروا الأشكيف؟؟ طبعاً أنا كنت قاعدة وكوني سمرا واعتبرتها إهانة قررت ما أسكت وزتيت كلمة لما إجت فرصة مناسبة، وما في داعي أدخل هلأ في مزايا السمار وفوائده خصوصاً للبنات، بكفي إنه الناموس ما بقرب علي بدون ما أحط فيب ولا إشي، بينما إخواني بتهبروا في الصيف! الحمد لله يا ربي... وبكفي إني بكون مريضة وما بحس في داعي أحط إشي على وجهي عشان ما أبين صفرا ومسحوب لوني

طيب، ما علينا...

وكإنه إحنا ناقصنا ستيريوتايبس وتفكير محدود عشان يجيبولنا مسلسل تاني يحدد أفكارنا ويضيع وقتنا أكتر وأكتر... طبعاً عن بحكي عن زفت الطين "نور"، مع الاعتذار لكل وحدة اسمها نور

أولاً، المسلسل اللي بطلع عليه نظرة محايدة بشوف إنه أتفه من التفاهة، لأ ليش هيك بنغلط بالتفاهة أصلاً، لسا التفاهة ممكن تكون مبتكرة، هادا المسلسل تفوق على جميع المقاييس وعمل فئة جديدة لحاله، يعني في تفاهة وبعد التفاهة بتيجي "نور"...

أنا عن نفسي ما بتابع المسلسل بس بما إنه وين ما تروح بتلاقي عالتلفزيون وبما إنه الأحداث اللي فيه فش فيها أي نوع من الغرابة أو التجديد وكل 10000 حلقة بصير تطور جذري فصرت أعرف القصة...

ما بدي أبدا الحكي عن القيمة الاجتماعية عن المسلسل لأنه باختصار مسلسل تركي وقيمه علمانية، بس ما بدي أفوت في هادا ابموضوع وخليني في القيمة الفنية (شبه المعدومة)

يعني أنا نفسي ألاقي إشي مثير للفضول أو الاهتمام في المسلسل، إنه أي مسلسل سوري أو مصري أو أردني لسا أحسن منه وعلى الأقل ما بضل 90 حلقة! يا دوب 30 حلقة وانتهى الموضوع... يعني محور المسلسل كله عن حياة عائلة، عادي يعني عائلة واحداث بتصير، طيب؟ شو علة هالقلب هاي؟ وطبعاً كل ما تلاقي القصة سكرت يا واحد بعمل حادث، يا وحدة بتسقط حملها، يا واحد بنجلط (طبعاً كالعادة الجد الكبير كل 5 دقايق ينجلط، والعجيب إنه بدو يتجوز... نفسه خضرا) يعني لا ابتكار ولا تجديد ولا بطيخ مبسمر، واللي بجلط إنه حتى الأطفال بتابعوه، وبدنا أطفالنا يطلعوا مبدعين ويفكروا خارج الصندوق (آوت أوف ذا بوكس)، كيف طيب كيف وهم عم بتفرجوا على مسلسل بعرض مشاكل نور ومهند اللي مش كاينة تخلص وكأنها محور حياتهم؟؟

وكله كوم ومهند كوم! إنه خلص إنت يا بيرفيكت يا سوبر مان! وكل ما يطلع مهند عالشاشة بتلاقيهم حطوا موسيقى هادية إنه إجا الدونجوان (مع الاعتذار لجوني ديب)، والمشكلة إنه كل هالرومانسية والحب والغرام وبعدين ما بلحقوا يحكوا كلمتين مع بعض إلا بتخانقوا! زي كإنهم اتنين مراهقين مصاحبين مش اتنين كبار عاقلين متزوجين... أي قرف اللي يقرفكوا! إنه مش عم تفهموا على بعض اتطلقوا يا أخي، خليها تروح تتزوج عابدين المريض النفسي وخليه هو يروح يتزوج بطيخة نهال! هاي قصة تانية طبعاً، قال وحدة دعستها شاحنة وهي حامل وضلت عايشة في السر وخلفت ولد كمان (شكلها بتقرب للمخرج)، وقال عشان يزبطوا الحبكة قالوا كانت ما بدها إياه يعرف إنها عايشة، يا عيني على التضحية والإيثار! طلعت تركيا المدينة الفاضلة تاعت أفلاطون! تاهت ولقيناها... أما مهند، فكيف واحد مرته بتكون نكدة كل هالنكد وبكون لهالدرجة منيح؟ وفوق هيك بكون توب موديل ومعاه مصاري نعف، يعني بخلي البنات يفكروا إنه نور مش احسن مني، يا بيجي واحد زي سي كازانوفا بسلامته يا بديش.... وعيش يا قديش لينبت الحشيش..

وأحلى إشي كيف فجأة الممثلين بتغيروا... عادة في المسلسلات الأمريكية مثلاً لما ممثل يضطر يغيب عن التصوير بغيروا القصة، مثلاً لما "بري فان دي كامب" في "ديسبيرت هاوسوايفز" غابت عن المسلس عشان تولد، بكل بساطة عملوا في المسلسل إنها سافرت وصورا كم لقطة إلها من ورا من دون ما يبين وجهها كانت فيها ممثلة بديلة مش هي نفسها، وزادوا مشاهد "إيدي بريت" وبكل ذكاء المسلسل مشي وبالعكس يمكن نجح أكتر لأنه في ناس بحبوا شخصية "إيدي"... مش بكون واحد شعره لكتفه وما عند شوارب فجأة في الحلقة اللي بعديها بصير واحد شعره قصير وعند سكسوكة... وبعدين شكلو الأطفال بكبروا بسرعة رهيبة في المسلسل، يعني "رقية" ولدت و"نور" لسا حامل، وصارت بنت رقية مبين عمرها سنة ونور لسا حامل.... شو حامل بفيل؟؟ بس أكتر لقطة بتضحك واللي بتستاهل جائزة لما كان عابدين خاطف نور وبربطها في حبل وبقلها إنهم لازم يكونوا مع بعض وهي بتقول له: "إحنا أصدقاااااء" حمارة هاي؟

يعني باختصار، هادا المسلسل تفوق على ذا بولد أند ذا بيوتيفل وذا يونغ أند ذا ريستلس وعلى دايز أوف آور لايفز... لحظة لحظة، بعد التفكير يمكن لسا ما تفوق على ديز أوف آور لايفز، لسا بدهم كمان شوي، منيح إنه المسلسل لسا ما خلص!!

على كل حال، هاي نور شكلها مش "بنت عيشة"، منيح اللي مهند متحملها فوق ماى هي "سمرا"...

وعجبي

The Perpetual Tale of Women and Zucchini

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 09:41:00 GMT

[Note: both O & D are girls]

O: This is absurd! Only 6 seats reserved for women in the parliament!

D: I think this is better…

O: Hello! How come?

D: Don't get me wrong, I'm with women, but they can't do anything.

O: If they can't do anything, then why did they refuse Tujan Faisal's candidacy?

D: Well, they are only capable of screwing thins up

O: Wait a minute… who screwed things up? The former parliament screwed things up and how many women were there? It consisted mostly of men, so blame it on them.. There should be more women in the parliament

D: What are they going to do in the parliament? Stuff zucchini?

O: Why, what… Zucchini! How can you say that? They weren't given enough chance in the first place, give them a chance and then judge them

D: Tell me one good thing women did (on the country level)

O: I'll tell you what they did. Who brought the issue of honor crimes to light? Rana Husseni, a woman. Who uncovered the grisly scandal of negligence in that orphanage some years ago and saved the children there? A woman as well (I forgot her name, I think it was Hana or something similar).

D: Yeah, children tortured by women

O: What about honor crimes? Those women were killed by their fathers and brothers

D: Well, you have a point there

O: The point is this is so unfair. And you are a misogynist!

[D laughs]

[Here W comes in]

W: Unfair to who?

O: to women

W: We do that to ourselves because we are the ones who voted

O: Ok, we voted, but what about women whose husbands decide their choice of candidates?

Anyhow... For some reason this reminded me of Naseem's series titled: Sipping Coffee at the Salon Seyasi, I hope the day won't come when we read something like: "Stuffing Zucchini at the Salon Siyasi".

Perhaps I should rename my blog. The Zucchini Zone. Isn't that what we're good for after all?

Sexual Harassment: Should it Stop You?

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 13:37:00 GMT

There's always been so much talk about working women. While some people defend it ferociously, others took a firm stand against it, justifying their position by different reasons, related to family, children, motherhood, etc. However, one reason that cause some women to give up their jobs, and push men to resent the idea and sometime prevent their wives from going out to work, is one that might seem plausible enough, while if you look closely you'll probably find that it's in fact an emotionally driven reaction for a problem that must be handled in a whole different way, that being Sexual Harassment.

First, let's take a look at what sexual harassment is. Before anything else, sexual harassment is an act of sex discrimination, viewing women as objects open for men to fulfill their whimsical desires. It also implies that some men think that once a woman is out of her home, she's up for grabs, and that they can violate her if they want to. Thus, sexual harassment is and insult to women, and even if it entails no physical harm, it's very hurtful for women's feelings, confidence and self-esteem, however they try to convince themselves that it shouldn't be. Of course, sexual harassment isn't only physical. It can take different forms starting from leering; making sexually explicit gestures; displaying sexually explicit objects, pictures, posters, or pinups (Visual) to derogatory comments, epithets, slurs, jokes; unwelcome sexual advances, propositions, or demands for sexual favors; unwelcome comments about an individual's body or appearance (Verbal) and finally unwanted touching, such as patting, pinching, hugging, brushing against another's body, coerced kissing or fondling, physical assault (physical).

Thus, you might be thinking now that more women than you originally thought are subject to sexual harassment at work. This is the very idea that makes many men in Oriental societies refuse firmly that their wives be part of the labor market. Understandable? Yes. Right? I hardly think so.

So, we all agree that sexual harassment is hideous, unaccepted and sometimes unbearable. But is it enough reason for a woman to give up a thriving career?

Let's set the record straight. In sexual harassment, there's an abuser and a victim. In many cases of office sexual harassment, the victim backs out and retreats in silence, while the abuser stays there to harass other women. In a perfect world, the harasser would be reported, fired or punished in any other way. So, when others saw that he got what he deserves, they would refrain from such acts and everyone continues to work happily ever after.

Now, most people find it hard to have it done this way. Although we realize that the woman here is a victim, and that her honor and dignity haven't been undermined, it remains very hard and heavy to spill the beans. But again, silence and backing out won't solve the problem, but rather make it worse; for abusers can exist anywhere, not only at work, so what would you do?

Let's try to see this in another light...

Would you stop walking in the street because of pick-pockets?

Would a store be closed down because of shop lifters?

Or, would you rather get those busted to get what they've (or haven't) seen coming?

This might seem different, but at the core of it, it's not that different. This is a crime, and that is a crime. This is an abuser as that is a felon. No one should get away with impunity, and you have the write to work just as you have the right to shop or walk in the street. And the word "right" here fits into place, bearing in mind that in Islam, a work is an obligation for men, while it's a right for women, no strings attached. So, if God gives me this right, why would I let one ill-mannered human take it away?

You do the math.

Disclaimer: Sexual harassment isn't only committed by men against women. It happens the other way around and between individuals from the same gender. However, this post addressed women because is much more likely that women would quit their jobs on that account than men would.