The Caller: parenting

A sunday to vent

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 10:34:00 GMT

Eno has been my friend for the past ten years or maybe more...we have the understanding, our set of jokes and we know each other inside out...we are so close at times of crisis and when we are forced to be distant. Just like now as she left the country for a scholarship...now, her being far is bringing us closer. That's weired if you ask me but, as we always are, this is me and this is her and that's the way it is...so, we are that type of friends...I might not see her for months although we live five minutes apart...but, Enka, I already miss you already.
I have this thing with cutting a cake and presenting it. I noticed that in the West they'd give you a piece of a cake laying on it's side...I would cut you a piece and plate it standing in the normal positions where all the frosting appears and not smudged...If it'd fall i would set it straight again. I wondered why we are different...Is it an east and west perspective?? I wondered, then I got it...hurray! They slice it thin...we take quarter of a cake each...of course theirs won't stand...it's so thin...it has no butt to rest onto...while we...ohhhh, we have the butts alright.
Speaking of food...no, I had no cake since the birthday party Inso threw me...yet, Quiting the smokes, freezing weather and having long vacations have caused (all excuses i know) despicable seizures of chocolate, marshmallow and...chocolate indulgence...Oh, and speaking of that...I have to greet Dear Inso for the amazing night companionship of six seasons of Scrubs to level my depression a bit.
I did vent out during the weekend, I did at some point decide to spare myself the headache of discussing a subject I really care about - when i care i get hyper tension - when i know it won't lead to anything or with someone that won't get it...yet, I lack self control at times...I got the hyper tension and the headache and l3ant salsafeel elly gabo ahl el discussions elly fe eldonia...what really amazes me is the amount of Jerks who feel arrogant enough to add to their jerkness a pile of crap by being condescending...kaman!!!
My kids hate my new hair color...kids are honest and simple so they simply gave me an honest opinion...they said: Mama, loon sha3rek we7esh awi ( your hair color is ugly ) and they had a confused look on their faces. thing is, a while ago i thought i'd refresh things with spicing up the contrast a bit and giving myself a darker shade of hair...i did, it came out black...it's a shock to say the least...it was dramatic...Adams family kind of dramatic...had to get Mama's saying on the matter, she said: rabena khala2 el blonds and el brunettes and khala2 ma3ahom a character to match...this is not you. yes, mom, it's not...and change can't be that severe...and no one can change who they really are... not even for the sake of more spice or more drama. and now I'm talking about life...not the hair.
I have a friend in Gaza. It's a group i joined because i do have a friend in Gaza...My friend in Gaza doesn't hate Egyptians, doesn't exaggerate, doesn't mislead others although he is the one suffering the long cold dark nights and taking all the fighter jets and its missiles. He knows we have a foolish crappy government, but he also knows that people of countries are helpless in so many ways....Now, people around the Arab world and within Egypt...people who are enjoying the comfort of their warm luxurious homes...watching hayfa on their LCD and driving around safe streets in their fancy cars are judging Egyptians, hating Egyptians and cursing Egyptians. I believe my point is obvious, I will not explain no more.
I have a brat for a boss and although the motherhood flooding in me can take his childish annoying behaviour...but not that childish nor that annoying behaviour. so, I smell a fight in the air...when he decides to come by the office sometime for a change and handle some work of course!!!!

The most silent cry

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 23:15:00 GMT

Problem is, I know what to do...I'm not puzzled, I'm not reluctant and I'm not weak.

I know I have to go to the kids' school in the morning and meet the manager...I have the scenario in my head...I can hear me talk...I can see them argue and driving me crazy, I realize teachers attitudes as I've been one before.

I can see myself ask for the manager, tell him no word but firmly ordering: Call for the P.E. teacher and I won't say anything else till she comes!

He would try to wit me out of anger...the religious way of course ( He's Religious)...she would come and I would make a HUGE effort not to punch her in the face only because I wanna discipline myself and by that i hope to teach her a lesson about self discipline enough to contain her self next time she gets THE SICK urge to use violence against a CHILD!!!

I'm taking a breath now because I really really make a huge effort ( it seems I'll be doing that a lot ) to hold my angry tears and the dirtiest dictionary!

I know every mother sees her kids as the best...but, can you take my word for it???

My kids are very naughty AND very polite at the same time and I've been praised for quite that because they seem as innocent and active as kids should be but in the most contained childish manners anyone could want in his kid...I am proud...and that is mostly what makes me more mad and sad...THEY DON'T deserve this!

The P.E. lady teacher punished hassan ( 8 years old ) for choosing another activity but her class by :

Pulling his hair ( yes, 7abeby has very beautiful relatively long hair )
10 times running around the track
100 times sitting and jumping continuously

He cried from the rough hair pull and the leg pain and she wouldn't stop so she made him do some more jumps...he returned home crying and traumatized...and he demanded me acting upon it confirming that he WILL NOT attend her class again as he skipped her class at the first place because of her bad treatment and pinches.

Knowing that at 4 pm after school hours...while I'm having an argument with my boss...beat tired and very anxious, left me breathlessly angry and sad and I've been helping frustrated tears till this moment...because I'm gonna, forced, have to wait till tomorrow to go over there and let it all out.

Why does all the shit in the world hit my fan and my fan only??? why do I have to spend all my life suffering and struggling because of circumstances, people, this damn system, cruelty, injustice, what's right, myself and my urges and my desires and my freakin' work that i happen to twistedly love...my love...my fuckin' heart ( no, I will not calm dow nor tone it )...my zillion thought/ minute...staying in control...staying passionate...maintaining something...fighting...protecting my kids...supporting my friends...stressing on myself neglecting the sicknesses and painful days because even physically i have to keep going. I am drained...drained...and i ache for what my kids go through and what they might go through and the kind of dad they have and the kind of mom they have and the kind of life they would have if i would be ill not be able to work and provide for them or if i die or if the freakin country goes into crisis or if they would get sick...I'm scared, frightened, terrified...as it is and i play normal and push myself further and test my limits everyday as it is...and pray for Allah's help and mercy...SO, I need no more shit from a sick bitch at school corrupting my sons mind...Making him hate sports because it is NOW a punishment not a good thing...making him feel demeaned and humiliated...I can imagine what my proud son felt when he was held by the hair hard and dragged in front of the whole school at the yard...

I did not pick a bad school...It is not a freakin cheap school...It is SUPPOSED to be religious with good knowledge abilities and language as well...

after all that...I know and realize I can't loose my temper and enjoy being the angry mom tomorrow when i meet her...I have to be the firm intimidating reasonable dad...yet again, haven't I done that all the time already?!!!

Damn, I almost forgot!

Update:

At seven am I drove the kids' to school and waited for the manager to show up...to make a long story short...I said what i had to say to the teacher, manager, deputy manager and two supervisors...I was firm, subtle and very righteous and that shut them up and almost didn't hear but apologies and promises along with confirmations that they have the same rules i believe in.

I left the school knowing I had delivered the message just as i wanted...I know that the teacher wouldn't come near a child for at least - hope longer - some time...I know my kids will be safe for quite some time...I'm calmer...yet, I hate the fact that i had to give smooth intimidating messages to assure a fair reasonable treatment for my kids, which is supposed to be normal around any school.

But, If that is a corrupted system within a bigger governmental system...reality is, people - system or not - na2seen tarbeya oo ta3leem ...I won't say anything more but a reply of the teacher when i clarified the fact that she's making the child hate sports and that violence is NOT accepted...she asked: 2omal a3aqbo ezzay??!!!!

needless to say

I was about to call her every name in the book describing Ignorance and stupidity...the manager told her: I will teach you what to do!! you are dismissed now!

Rabena yostor!

What is it now?!!

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:25:00 GMT

Looks like my tactics could actually work...Sometimes!

Reference to the last post, The bully who hit Hassan hard is trying to win his friendship...Hassan didn't give in yet - to my surprise - and didn't cut the boy some slack by accepting to be his pal.

However, and after receiving very valuable feedback from my friends on the blog...I'm committed to train Hassan and adjusting his self defense skills.

On the other hand, and with NO reason whatsoever...I slept all night last night and that is an astonishing achievement...yet dreams concerning Jomana's safety haunted me.

I guess it's the baby phase!

I know it quite well, I start to worry sick about them and have all kinds of thoughts to feed my worry and turn it to constant fear, this time I'm gonna over smart it and just enhance my time with them...I will make extra sure everything is fine...they are safe and sound and secure...( el3a2l dah is a lie, I'm freaked from the inside)

Weired thing is that I'm baby sick...i miss the newborn age...how they feel, smell and fill the heart with absolute joy. my kids do that to me all the time...hassan with his gentleman/ naughty attitude and JoJo with her girlish dala3 and zillion tiny hugs and kisses :)

yet, babies are sooooo cute! :)

Motherhood is flooding ya gama3a :D overwhelming me to the extent that it is becoming a PHASE...an actual phase!

I just hope and pray to Allah to guard them till they grow up to be a fine man/ woman.

I actually feel like crying.

I really need a Man' saying on this ( normal man! ) and a woman.

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:02:00 GMT

This is one category of subjects that ruins my peace and worry me to the extent that i didn't have one moment of sleep last night nor did i have the will to do anything but think and think and hold on to my son who spent the night next to me last night.

I won't be bragging or exaggerating if I would say that both my son and daughter are very innocent polite kids (8&6) who haven't been messed up in the brains by Arabic series and PlayStation games with all due respect to kids who have.

They are more into ordinary moderate super hero toys...cartoons and games of moderate nature...they read...play and make up stories...and of course quarrel all the time.

They like school...ever since they've been to a school...and that for hassan and Jomana since they were 3.9 years old.

For the first time EVER has hassan cried because he didn't want to go to school...last night he was so nervous...crying over trivial silly stuff...I knew something else was wrong and he wasn't talking...after cooling him down he confided in me and said that a new class mate has beaten the hell out of him...punches, kicks and that that was very hard...not like other boy stuff that happens all the time at school.

I soothed him then asked: have you hit him back ?

He said: No, you said never to hit anyone...besides, I was really hurting.

I asked: Did you tell your teacher?

He replied: It was during the break and i saw Mr. .... (the school's Manager) I told him so he said: go beat him up

I was like WHAT?!! but fe serry 2olt 7agat keteer tanya!

I knew then I had to reply according to his best interest yet not give up what i think is right as a rule...

I said: Look Hassan, you have to know that strength is actually in the brains and personality not in being violent! and avoiding school and the boy is only gonna make u weaker...would u want that??? he nodded that NO!

I continued: what i think you should do is that you should trust that you are very strong both physically and mentally and you're gonna use that...I want you to call your friends Y and O then talk to the kid...tell him you will not allow him to be that bad any more...tell him you have told your mom and the manager and you would've hit him harder but you chose not to because you wanted to give him a chance to be a good boy and your friend...be firm...look him in the eye and sharpen ur tune.

He asked: what if he hit me hard again anyway?

I had to say: HIT BACK!

He said: but he will keep beating me

I said: beat him back...men defend themselves when they have to and that doesn't mean they won't be hit...but then...u won't feel bad and hurt as u do now...u can handle that pain more than this...yet again, and concentrate on what i'm saying cause i will not allow any other action, you will talk to him as agreed with the intention of making him a good boy to be your friend.

He agreed...smiled as he liked the idea and slept next to me...

My heart ached...I was worried...Life can ruin what I'm trying to teach my kids and i can't do much about what might come their way....I could be wrong and my boy will be a wuss!

I maybe right but that doesn't apply on kids without an available Dad...well, although I know that he is against hitting himself...a 100 question and lots of worries and a restless night.

I couldn't do but cuddle beside him and think...couldn't do the night routine of music, reading or using the net...nothing...my baby and that's it!

I'm still at work so a I gave home a call around 5 pm to ask him what has he done...He said that he didn't call his friends...talked him during the morning line, said what we agreed on...the boy stressed that he will not change what ever hassan told him and whatever he did.

yet, he didn't tell hassan a word not tried to interact with him...Hassan during Class ignored him completely.

What should i do??!!

What is right???

Do you men, have to beat up each other to be "Men"??

Will my advice corrupt my boy or is it staying far from trouble that will???!!

The thought of him being hit kills me...and that thought of him hitting makes me sick!

Help...Please!

Mid night cooking

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:26:00 GMT

This is a yummy post so if you're not in to food 2eb2a 3addi 3aleena bokra :D

last night and as Hassan was giving me the puppy look asking for another piece of chocolate cake - which btw couldn't be any sweeter than him - I felt guilty that i no longer cook enough for my kids.

Between work and talking/playing with them i have no energy nor time to visit the kitchen.

I might say that i am blessed with a devoted mom who pampers us all with her yummy dishes...never the less,
My food will have deliver a certain nutritious message to them while they eat.

I had to beat the guilt so i started discussing healthy eating habits with him and suitable options to sweets.

He then went to bed and i stayed up watching and movie while messing some stuff around my room till it was after midnight...i suddenly remembered i had some veal chops in the freezer...I decided to make those chops, grilled and to side them with roasted baby red onions and spiced potato wedges.

Using olive oil, lemon juice, yogurt, mustard, salt and pepper, paprika, soy sauce to marinate the veal.

Grilled them medium...and left them in the fridge for mom to put into the oven the next day just to complete its broiling.

I boiled the potatoes, cut them into wedges....pealed the baby red onions...and tossed them all onto a baking sheet then added olive oil, salt and pepper, paprika and basil...then put them in the fridge for mom to shove into the oven the day after.

I finished and felt great to have made lunch for my kids.

I had to wash...and tried to sleep at 2:00 am but it was hard so i guess it took me over and hour to sleeeeeeeeeeep.

Today, I decided to leave the office early and have lunch with my kids...I think I'll make them a fruit smoothie for dessert.

I'll use yogurt, skimmed milk, bananas and some colored fruit...mango Or any kind of berry will be fine + some honey.

I believe that such a meal won't only deliver good nutrition but also lots of love...cooking for a loved one...any loved one will feed them love.

Isn't that amazing?!

Have a nice day :)