http://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/categories/Dreams/It is an invitation to approach the core of your heart..Fri, 12 Jun 2009 22:30:32 GMTCopyright 2009 Rashajeeran RSSGenerator v1.0http://thecaller.jeeran.com/photos/profile_t.jpghttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/categories/Dreams/http://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/11/726731.html726731<DIV>It's like reversing a scene of a rock being thrown to shake the calmness of a lake...the rock is leaving the turbulent lake to it's calmness.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Rocked by many thoughts, little events of passion, new people, old people and job related stresses, was how things have been going on with me for the past couple of months...I didn't have the time or will to slow down and revise...I missed my lifetime habit of analysing everything; as at one point I decided - again - that change is good...that I've seen enough of overwhelming events and what is mere silly to exhaust my soul.</DIV> <DIV>I wanted to return to blank mind pages and simple feelings accompanied by simple expression and sharing.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Won't regret the decision nor what I've experienced while testing those shallow/ deep waters ( Depends!! )...I had the healthy dose of regret ( a few minutes: a day max.)</DIV> <DIV>I will just acknowledge the experience...will Indulge on the lessons I've been taught...yes yes...I have to admit for ethical reasons...I didn't dig for those lessons...They have been shoved up my BRAINS!</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>But to allow closure to that short termed experience, there are a lot of acceptance to handle...and I had the past three days to come to terms with those...I, first, felt down...disappointed...defeated...then, my ego aroused from the depth and declared getting in charge...the mind is in control now and the inner feelings that wished for things to go in a certain path retreated to a nice white and bubbly cocoon...I welcomed that...as energy was by all means running too many empty alerts for me to disregard.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Mind was in charge and there was no way my will could be evasive and would try to push it away from the leading position as sickness hit my physique.</DIV> <DIV>I have those tendencies...when my feelings and spirit get beaten...the body does too...and at similar times ridiculous thoughts of diets and slimming sound so fake...as bodies could get so ill...could get so buried...and nothing would have importance anymore.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Three days in bed...Surrounded by adorable tender kids...I never saw them as kind...maybe because I've almost lost hope in pure kindness elsewhere that now i see greatness in those tiny hands and warm little hugs.</DIV> <DIV>Three days in bed...long hours of analysis and rewinding absurdness that came out of my mouth after being felt as raw as my pounding heart.</DIV> <DIV>Three days to figure out how would i neglect love and beg for another...the rolling of the dice...and the rolling of the wheels and the rolling of the heart...</DIV> <DIV>Three days to wonder if i had any right to get disappointed at the first place...If i present to the world what i need or what i think it needs?!! Is my logic understandable??? or, have i been delusional and basically i lack logic???</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>It is like choosing not to brag what you've read or the scientific expressions you've always used ( mom taught me that when i was ten ) because it inhibits not only people...but the universe...she said: the universe will not teach a smart ass.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Days before I turn 35...I had three days in bed to weigh what really matters...will i pursue more passion towards art and human experiences?!! Will i continue to treat the world as if it was my own handmade?? will i keep failing to see that expectations are the sane man's worst enemy?</DIV> <DIV>Would I ever Accept that people by nature - and perhaps because it's what's best - are not ready for nude truths?!</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I, someone who feared the change of place of my book, decided to change the placing of my bed...For 18 months i have had the closet placed to block the window...No light nor scenery was viewed...artificial light...air...and sounds were my environment when i was home.</DIV> <DIV>I asked for help...the good doorman came over with his brother and moved the huge closet away from the window...I had my bed placed right next to the floor to ceiling glass window...a white sheer transparent curtain was moved by nice early winter breeze...I relaxed my head on the pillow...enjoying the natural soft greyish sun rays filling my hair...I looked at the canaries I have out in the terrace and thought they were happy in the cage..I saw a few plants mom keeps out there...I could see some sky above the building across...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> <DIV>Music accompanied me - as usual - not any music...Strings of guitars that played my soul...I browsed all my favorites...I couldn't read...I just wanted to stop the imaginary flood and taste real tangible thoughts and feelings </DIV> <DIV> </DIV></DIV> <DIV>(I think in pictures and I know that...by the way, totally irrelevant but had to be mentioned to excuse myself for the images and backgrounds i use when i tell a story...just the other day a close friend of mine thought it was annoying...well, I think in pictures!)</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Maybe that is how i should spend time at home...maybe that would clarify the impurities in me...maybe a clear head away from people will do me good....If only i didn't know better!</DIV> <DIV>A person of chaos, trouble and excitement i am...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I accept how I change...I embrace new air...new angles...different approaches...I hope to see kindness from cruel people or things.  </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>It amazes me how many "I" s I use in a post...but, Everything that i have, the world, the huge meaning and sensation is through that "I"</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Don't be stupid now...  </DIV>Sat, 15 Nov 2008 20:55:00 GMThttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/11/726731.html#commentsRasha<aroza@msn.com>DreamsfaithFriendsMusicNew PhasePassionhttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/9/687002.html687002<DIV align="center"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; FONT-STYLE: italic"><A href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ldELCS6p1w">Sweet surrender</A></SPAN></DIV> <DIV align="center"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; FONT-STYLE: italic"></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV align="center"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; FONT-STYLE: italic">Can't stop watching this...</SPAN></DIV> <DIV align="center"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; FONT-STYLE: italic">Can't Surrender...</SPAN></DIV>Sun, 28 Sep 2008 10:35:00 GMThttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/9/687002.html#commentsRasha<aroza@msn.com>DreamsNew Phasehttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/9/673600.html673600<DIV>If I ever thought hair oil and dreams are related i would've sank my hair in gadayel oil every single night but i had no previous idea :D</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Last night...in fact it was early in the night when i decided to massage my scalp with some oil as I'm going through the hair fall phase - fall is around the corner anyway - and i did...i watched some TV waiting for the oil to work its magic then wash my hair like all respectable ladies who like to smell ANYTHING but oil!</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>My dear son was next to me and asked repeatedly to tell be a bed time story so i had to be nice and turn off the TV to give him full attention despite the fact that he was the one who needed to sleep...I intended to listen then tell him a story myself to put him to sleep but i must have heard three sentences maximum when i lost consciousness and fell asleep!</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Poor baby, he must have kept story telling while i was shut down...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I opened my eyes at one point to find complete darkness as the very very nice electric company decided to give us a little treat of shutting the power off as of tribute to Ramadan...two seconds later i continued my deep sleep although i did realize that the smell of the oil was annoying me and causing a slight headache but sleep is a sultan as we all know - especially sleep deprived like myself - so i returned to sleep.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> Just before i woke up i had a beautiful dream ( warning: 7ad3i 3aleeko fe Ramadan law de7ekto 3alaya )</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I was in a car...someone who looked very familiar yet unknown to me was in the front seat and i was in the back seat...a supposed to be a friend of mine was sitting beside me...we were dropping the man in the front seat by some building when he turned around to face me...i know in my dream that we love each other deeply...he looked at me very passionately and me too...with no words...just a look that expressed that we're gonna miss each other.</DIV> <DIV>I swear i can describe him as if he's someone i know...he had dark green to hazel eyes...he was tan with brown hair and a goaty...I think!...he looked tall...and fit...and had a great smile.</DIV> <DIV>bas...I woke up!</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>This is the nicest dream i had in a very long time...the feelings were so real with the pounding heart and everything...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>If only i knew that the nasty oil odour could bring such a nice dream....*sigh*</DIV> <DIV> </DIV>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 10:34:00 GMThttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/9/673600.html#commentsRasha<aroza@msn.com>DreamsHair oilNew Phaseخزعبلاتhttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/2/478322.html478322<DIV>Acting in a Quentin tarantino's?!</DIV> <DIV>Playing back to back with beckham?</DIV> <DIV>Winning the Nobel prize? a Pulitzer?</DIV> <DIV>What?</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>What's your wildest dream?!</DIV> <DIV>You can think of this as a tag or just an old blogger scratching an old fantasy and sharing it with you all...just think back....what?</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I'm only in a mood for something so far from all the heartaching serious wild dreams ...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>My wildest dream is: singing centre stage...Oscar night!</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>OMG :D</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV>Fri, 22 Feb 2008 23:49:00 GMThttp://thecaller.jeeran.com/thezahir/archive/2008/2/478322.html#commentsRasha<aroza@msn.com>DreamsmosaicNew Phase