Finding Neverland: Stories

Scattered coins in my purse…

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:09:00 GMT

At a point, I doubted its existence, and thought that “destiny” is only a word that people invented, so they can use when a hard situation happens to them, or their loved ones.

For me, it was becoming a word that I don’t want to believe in, and then use it later for numbing a pain that was smashing my heart. I didn’t want vagueness to role my life, and take over my brain. I was so committed of knowing why and when things are happening, and I simply didn’t want to take “destiny” as an answer, and then turn the page and move on to another agony.

From a religious point of view, I turned into a Satan or something even worse. But for me, I simply wanted some answers. And at that time, destiny wasn’t the logical explanation I was looking for.

One day, my co worker came to my office, and started chatting. I wasn’t really interested in her conversation, and she noticed the boredom that took over all my facial expressions. She wanted to grab my attention, and so she pulled my bag from my table trying to tease me, and we heard the coins scattering inside. I knew at the moment that I have forgotten my purse opened, and so the coins found its way to my bag… a better place to breathe.

My co worker, looked and me, and in a funny way, said “whatever, you will collect them back later”..

At night, my mom asked me to tip the house keeper, and so I opened my bag, took my purse, went to the house keeper, and gave her what my mom asked me to.

It was next day’s morning. I had to hurry to work, I was LATE. I quickly got dressed, put my shoes on, grabbed my bag, and hurried down stairs.

I was thrilled when I found a cab going around in circles near my house, as if he knew I was late. I ran to him, and asked him to drive me to work...

Arriving 5 minutes later, it was time to give the driver what he deserves. I opened my bag…and… for a split second I couldn’t even breathe. The purse wasn’t there! DAMN IT! I must have left it at home when I tipped the house keeper.

I didn’t know what to do, because… I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY CELL PHONE TOO! I can’t call my friends or any co worker, and even if I wanted to they might be at a meeting, and I can’t ask strangers for money, but at the end the driver should be paid. I decided to go back home, and put my position on risk, since a very critical meeting should be conducted in 3 minutes, and I had to be there.

BUT!!! I remembered that I heard the scattered coins moving around in my bag when I grabbed it, when I ran down the stairs, when I opened my bag and searched for my purse… I, strangely, have totally forgotten to collect them and put them back in my purse, since they create the most annoying sound when the impact occurs between them.

I decided that I should collect them, and see if I can pay the guy. And for my ultimate surprise, they were the exact amount I had to pay.. And I did…

I finished the meeting… and sat for a minute … just thinking…. Why my colleague pulled my bag? Why I have forgotten to close my purse? Why the coins were scattered?..why .. why… many whys…

Again, I had no answer…

My image was saved, and by what? By worthless scattered coins…

A strange feeling tickled my heart, and brought tears in my eyes…

Now.. just now… I can say that I believed… and that I am a believer….

Because sometimes, answers can’t be afforded...

You just have to believe.

Against them…

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:48:00 GMT

They were sitting in the car…

The rain concealed what was hidden inside. It was really hard to tell what was going on behind the closed windows.

They weren’t smiling, or crying, or moaning or anything… They were silently watching the pure drops of water dropping gently on the windows, leaving random and confusing traces, just like the path they were walking through. Looking closer and closer … they were holding each others hands.

Rain! Wasn’t the rain supposed to be little drops of water sent from heaven just to bless purity on this earth? Why.. and million whys will come after… why the echo of the sound of the falling drops sends a shiver to their bodies, and the later split second of silence forces their eyes to close in agony?

They don’t know anymore. The fact says they can’t be together. The whole universe was and is against them. Religion, Nationality, Social classes… They weren’t compatible in the eyes of society, culture, and people by any means … This relationship was supposed to end before it starts, because, and only because they were born and raised within families they haven’t even chosen.

It was better for them to put a tag on what they were and still feeling … and move on.

Were they cowards? By simply not admitting what they were actually feeling out loud? Were they cowards? By simply KNOWING that they met the ONE, but at the end all what they are doing is holding hands and surrendering to what they are told to believe?… The chemistry, the passion, and the similarities that they share were lost in between like a small drop of water falling from the sky on a window, trying to draw an image of romance and passion, but what it could do is leave meaningless traces behind, like footprints of a mother who lost her child.

Looking closer and closer… She is holding her purse now… and looking at him, with million unspoken words in her eyes… She then managed to get closer to him, and give him a small kiss on his cheek… and then finally, but yet hardly, said “Congratulations sweetheart, I am sure that she will make you happy!”…

Sunrise…Sunset

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 12:24:00 GMT

She washed away sleepiness and headed to her window… It was sunrise… her favorite view…

She sat on the edge of her favorite place, laid her head and watched her best minutes in the morning occurring right there in front of her eyes… for her, there was nothing in the world more enjoyable than witnessing how the golden strings of the sun making their way into the scattered clouds and blushing the sky with millions of heavenly colors…

She kept watching till she lost all her senses that connect her with the world she's living in… and melted within the beauty of what was uniquely created… She started feeling it … she's actually a part of it… It was overwhelming how relief was flourishing from everything…and so, the need of seeing all that was meaningless at that moment… Slowly, she started closing her eyes, and empowered her ears to pick up the melodies sang by the trees and the lawn when a cool gentle wind decided to pass by… She almost felt the breeze kissing every hair in her head and taking her to another time and space…

He approached to her… and started watching the sunrise with her… his favorite view… he closed his eyes and stepped closer, smelling her hair and folding his arms around her… she laid her head on his chest…

It was their moment… their view… their life together… it was them… and only them… and nothing else mattered… they were united by their hearts and souls, and nothing in the world will tear them apart…

In his unique way, he let her know that too, and that was enough to send a smile to her face and move her hands to hold his, and scarily couldn’t find his arm around her anymore!... She turned around thinking of the worst…Now… She's awake and back to reality and to the wooden spot which she laid her head on… turned around again… and then stood still for a second absorbing the whole situation…She's awake… and she realized that she will spend the rest of her life hunted by the phantom of his presence…

She turned around again… looking at the sun shining… it's only a view… nothing so special about it…since the reason behind the beauty of the sunset, the breeze, and the songs was gone… vanquished… and will never be back… Now… Non of that all makes sense… Nothing has a meaning anymore… now… she's numb… but unfortunately awake…

She closed the window, dragged herself to her bed, laid down with her head facing a painting of the sunset placed on her favorite corner … and burst into tears...